We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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