I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize