Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
