I just saw a hot homeless man
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
