I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
