What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
