I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
