Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
