On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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