she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I came so hard my ears popped.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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