There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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