There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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