you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
