I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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