I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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