I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize