I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I look better un-naked...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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