Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
