Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
