i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
