he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
