So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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