If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think i have two assholes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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