the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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