Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
