i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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