I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
