I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
