It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
