At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
