so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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