____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i drank out of a bidet.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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