i jhust puked up my retainher.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
