question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
