I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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