I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
