Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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