All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
