Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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