I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
