But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize