marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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