So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
