I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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