is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
