Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
