I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
