check it out our google latitudes are spooning
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize