you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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