Buhtt sex?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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