where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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