No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
