we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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