i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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