He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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