you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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