You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
