she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i would one night stand the shit outta him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
