True but thats because hes a fetus.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Terrible idea I love it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
