foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
